How to Have More Patience as a Mom: 13 Tips from a Therapist
Do you ever dream of that magical moment when you finally achieve "mom-zen" - a state of infinite patience amidst the chaos of juggling your personal, professional, and family responsibilities? As a licensed clinical psychologist, entrepreneur, and mom myself, I understand that fantasy—and how hard it can be to integrate it all.
The truth is that there's no ultimate end state to achieve. Your capacity, needs, and goals can constantly fluctuate, and it's more about learning how to accept that than try and control everything.
Through my personal experiences and my work with countless other moms, I've learned practical tips to help moms develop patience for both themselves and the people in their lives. Here, I've compiled some of my favorite strategies so you can be empowered to manage stress, build resilience, and create a more peaceful experience for yourself and your loved ones.
Let's dive in.
Why being a patient parent can be especially tough for mamas, especially working and entrepreneurial mamas
Life is a constant balancing act for working moms. You're running a business, trying to manage all the tasks at home, making time for your relationship, and somehow prioritize your own personal development as well. It's no wonder patient can wear thin.
Here are some common reasons why patience can be such a challenge for entrepreneurial moms:
Chronic Stress: The constant pressure to excel in both work and motherhood can leave you feeling chronically stressed. This stress can deplete your emotional reserves, making it harder to stay calm when dealing with your child's behavior or navigating business decisions. Imagine your patience as a gas tank: the more stressed you are, the faster it depletes. At times, there's nothing left in the tank for those moments that truly require a patient approach.
Unpredictable Schedule: On top of that, the entrepreneurial life often comes with unpredictable schedules and unexpected challenges. This constant state of flux can make it difficult to create predictable routines for yourself and your children, which can further contribute to frustration on all sides.
Mom Guilt: The pressure to be a "perfect" mom can be especially intense for entrepreneurial moms who may already feel like they're not giving enough. This guilt can be a major drain on emotional resources and make it harder to be patient with yourself and your children.
But here's the good news: having less patience doesn't make you a bad mom! It simply means you're a human being juggling a lot. The key is understanding the root cause of your impatience and developing strategies to manage it.
13 tips to become a more patient mom
Growing your patience isn't just for the sake of your kids, spouse, or employees: it's for you, too. By cultivating the skill of patience, you'll feel more grounded and in control.
Here are a few of my favorite strategies that I recommend to my clients (and use myself) to be a more patient mother.
Self-awareness is key.
The foundation for building your patience lies in understanding yourself and your triggers. Here are some ways to tune in.
1. Identify your triggers.
The first step is to understand what pushes your patience buttons. Is it a screaming toddler in the grocery store? Missed deadlines? A never-ending to-do list? Once you identify your triggers, you can develop strategies for managing them before they escalate.
2. Recognize early warning signs.
Pay attention to your body's signals. Do you clench your jaw when stressed? Feel a tightness in your chest? Identifying these early warning signs allows you to take a step back and implement calming techniques before frustration boils over.
3. Reframe negative self-talk.
We all have an inner critic, but it doesn't have to be in the driver's seat. When you find yourself feeling impatient, challenge those negative thoughts with more compassionate self-talk. Instead of "I'm such a bad person for losing my temper," try "It's okay to feel frustrated sometimes. Let's take a deep breath and try a different approach."
Prioritization is your best friend.
Feeling overwhelmed and like there aren't enough hours in the day? Let's get strategic about managing your time and workload.
4. Get serious about time management.
Master the art of realistic scheduling! Factor in both work and family needs when creating your daily planner. Don't be afraid to say no to commitments that will overstretch your time. You don't need to do it all.
5. Delegate, delegate, delegate.
Can certain tasks be delegated to others? Consider outsourcing chores, hiring a babysitter for a few hours a week, or asking your partner for more support.
6. Set boundaries to avoid burnout.
Learn to politely decline requests that would pull you away from your children during dedicated family time. It's okay to prioritize quality time with your little ones. Likewise, having protected time for yourself and your business are essential as well.
Recharge your batteries.
Just like your phone, you need to recharge to function at your best. Here are some tips for prioritizing self-care and staying calm.
7. Take a minute for mindfulness.
Feeling overwhelmed? Take a quick mindfulness break. Simple techniques like deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or a short meditation can help you refocus and regain your self-control.
8. Prioritize self-care.
You've heard it a million times, but it's true: you can't pour from an empty cup. Make sleep, healthy eating, and regular exercise non-negotiables. Even small acts of self-care can make a big difference in your emotional well-being and overall patience levels.
9. Carve out "me-time."
Schedule some "me-time" into your week, even if it's just 15 minutes for a hot shower or reading a few pages of a book. This dedicated time for yourself will help you recharge and return to your family (and your business) feeling more patient and present.
Beyond patience: Building resilience
Cultivating patience is extremely important, but it's not the only part of integrating your personal, familial, and work lives. Here are some additional strategies that can help you build resilience and navigate the inevitable challenges that come with juggling motherhood and entrepreneurship.
10. Forgive yourself.
We all lose our cool sometimes. Instead of beating yourself up over moments of impatience, practice self-compassion. Acknowledge your feelings, learn from the experience, and move on. (Bonus: this is a great skill to model for your kids.)
11. Celebrate small wins.
The journey towards greater patience is a marathon, not a sprint. Celebrate your small victories, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Recognizing your progress will keep you motivated and on track.
12. Connect with other moms.
No mama should have to navigate motherhood alone. Surround yourself with other supportive moms who understand the unique challenges you face. Join a mommy group, connect with friends online, or seek out a mentor.
13. Consider professional support.
If you're struggling to manage stress, anxiety, or feelings of overwhelm, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide you with valuable tools and strategies for coping with difficult emotions and building resilience.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey.
I'm here to support you. I deeply understand the challenges that entrepreneurial mamas face, and I'm passionate about helping you become a more patient parent (and reach your other unique goals).
I offer personalized one-on-one coaching for moms like you, drawing from my personal experience as a mother and business owner, along with my professional experience as a licensed clinical psychologist. Together, we'll cover topics like
Identity and self-worth,
Mindful parenting,
Work-life balance,
Self-care routines,
Stress management and relaxation,
Postpartum challenges,
and more.
Whether you're a new mom, a mama to young kids, or even an empty-nester with adult children, I'm here to help you navigate the joys and challenges of motherhood one step at a time.
